I was driving home from getting new tires on the van today when I saw a battered teal Hyundai Elantra with the words "Just Married" painted on the rear windshield in white window paint with a smiley-face underneath.
A few (possibly misguided) assumptions went through my head in that moment:
1. They probably forgot to erase the words off of their car after the wedding (who would go to Portland for a honeymoon?).
2. They don't value marriage all that much because if they did they would have done something a little more special to let people know their excitement at the occasion.
3. They were probably enjoying the benefits of marriage without the commitment of marriage (i.e. living together, having sex).
Although some of these were probably wrong assumptions about the couple in the car, it got me thinking very carefully about marriage. My wedding will be a momentous occasion for me. It will be a new and beautiful step in my life. I will cherish my wife and the beautiful relationship and faithful commitment and wonderful blessings that day signifies for the rest of my life.
I'm not married yet, but I would like to be. It's the next major thing that will happen in my life since I'm almost done with college. I've seen some good marriages: my parents (congratulations on 27 years of faithful commitment in April!) and some of their friends, for example. And I've seen some bad marriages that have caused much brokenness in the lives of my family and friends.
Marriage is wonderful. It is one of the few things in this world that has lasted since before The Fall. Marriage is sacred. It is an expression of God's relationship with Man. The perversion of marriage is a slap in the face to God because, like any other sin, it is a perversion of the gifts He has given us. Marriage is not easy. It is the union of two imperfect people seeking after a common perfect goal (ideally, in Christ). Marriage is serious. It has drastic effects on everyone involved. Marriage is communal. It is the utmost folly to assume that marriage affects or is limited to the bride and groom. Marriage is rewarding. The physical and emotional companionship that accompanies the commitment is an incredible blessing from God.
But when I think about the American trend of taking all the blessings of marriage without thought of commitment or what the relationship represents, it makes me cringe. I have no illusions that marriage will be perfect or easy, in fact I know it will probably be the most difficult thing I ever do, but I am looking forward to the struggle. I am waiting in anticipation to work through small and large conflicts with my wife and become more like Christ with her as we overcome obstacles and challenges. I am also looking forward to the companionship that marriage will bring. I can't wait to have someone who I will commit love unconditionally and who has committed love me in return. I can't wait to come home after a long day's work to the loving embrace of my wife. I can't wait to go places with her and have adventures with her and work and serve alongside her and to just be with her. I can't wait to work hard to provide for her well-being. I can't wait to lead her with love, strength, tenderness, wisdom, and understanding towards Christ.
Marriage is serious business. It's a serious commitment and a serious representation of something much greater than the union of two people, as marvelous as that is. I want to be prepared for it, but I know I won't ever be completely ready.
God, please help me and guide me as I move into this new season of life.