The Point of Friction

I can study and talk about and learn about theology and God and life, but until God himself actually teaches me things about Himself, like He did this last Christmas about love, I will never actually be able to internalize and truly believe new things about God. I will forever be striving and failing to gain understanding of Him in my own strength.

That doesn't release me from the responsibility of pursuing Him with all my heart.

The things I've learned about Him have come out of the things I already knew about Him. My pursuit and study doesn't in and of itself allow me to know and internalize and believe new things, but it gives God material to work with and to make and mold my heart into the kind of heart He wants. I've realized that it's not going to happen in my timing because I can't change myself or my heart or my desires, but I can prepare for them to be changed by God. This realization itself is a perfect example of what I'm talking about. This is the piece of the puzzle I've been searching for. God has, in His perfect timing, revealed to me the way He has changed and will continue to change my heart.